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No good deed goes unpunished

Kamryn Renfro and Delaney Clements

A little girl battling neuroblastoma — a rare and devastating childhood cancer — and her best friend learn no good deed goes unpunished. Fortunately, they also learn that the cream rises to the top.

Rules, regulations, curfews, schedules, laws, and ordinances can be annoying sometimes; but, when we get passed our occasional frustration or selfishness, we ultimately realize the importance of maintaining order and preventing lawlessness. That goes for society in general, in our work environments, at home, and at our schools.

Not everything is black and white, though. When a motorist is stopped for speeding and the state patrol officer encounters a woman giving birth in the back seat, for example, he does not go through with his original goal of issuing the citation to the driver. An intelligent-thinking individual — or at least someone with even just half a brain — can presumably cast the rules aside in certain situations and focus on the more significant matter at hand.

Common sense is not so common

If you’re reading this blog, you already know cancer sucks. Imagine being a kid with cancer whose hair has fallen out as a result of chemotherapy, as if being a kid isn’t hard enough. Now imagine having a caring pal who, in order to show her cancer-stricken buddy that she’s not alone, parts ways with her own tresses as a sign of solidarity. Certainly it’s a gesture that can warm the cockles of anyone’s heart; well, almost anyone.

Imagine now that a school’s zero tolerance policy suspends the kind-hearted little girl because being bald is a “distraction” and it is a violation of the school’s dress code.

This actually happened in Grand Junction, Colorado this week. What was possibly going through 9-year-old Kamryn Renfro’s mind when she shaved her head in support of her sick chum, 11-year-old Delaney Clements? What sort of nonsense was she planning? According to this NBC report, Renfro said, “It felt like the right thing to do.”

Little Delaney was thrilled. “I was really excited that I would have somebody to support me and I wouldn’t be alone with people always laughing at me.” During this CBS report, Delaney thanked Kamryn for “being a really good friend” and she says for “actually being brave enough to do it and not only caring about your hair.”

Delaney’s mom was impressed with the compassion of her daughter’s friend. Such an act of support was really “brave” and it “builds character,” she says.

Kamryn’s mom had posted a comment on Facebook, explaining how the school had asked her daughter “not to return to school until her hair grows back out.” Jamie Olson Renfro admits the school handbook has a clear statement about shaved heads — and she agreed to the rules — but, she says, “Honestly, I never thought my 9-year-old daughter would do something so courageous, brave and selfless.”

School board learns lesson from student

To their credit, school board members met Tuesday evening to discuss this matter. The board decided by a vote of 3-1 — apparently someone wasn’t convinced — to allow the little scofflaw to return to school and get back to the books.

Makes one wonder who got the real education this week.

A day in Brenda’s life

Brenda at pain rehab at Mayo Clinic

We thought you might want to know a little more about a day in the life of Brenda — her progress after having recently completed a comprehensive pain management program at Mayo Clinic, her overall health, her daily routine, and her various coping mechanisms that help to get her through the day.

Everything is new; everything is different. Gone are the days of running marathons, climbing rocks, and riding bicycles — at least, for now. Brenda’s current life is a very different existence; not necessarily worse, but certainly a far cry from her former life. This once very active young woman makes conscious efforts just to get up every day, make the bed, and take deep, mindful breaths.

Being a person is hard sometimes

Truer words were never spoken.

An observant very young man recently said, “Some days gross things will happen. Some days awesome things will happen. Some days you’ll get ice cream and some days you won’t. Some days your kite will fly high. Some days it will get stuck in a tree. It’s just how it is here (on earth).” Simple yet profound observations from Kid President.

Such is the case with Brenda’s exacerbated yo-yo life, full of unpredictable ups and downs ever since the doctors first gave her the cancer diagnosis three years ago. There’s no way of knowing when that next victory can be celebrated, or the next fall will be lamented. Adult onset neuroblastoma is so rare — and so unforgiving — that its effects and outcome are impossible to predict. The oncology experts are often left scratching their heads.

Tossing out the drugs and getting rid of the pain

Brenda has spent the month of February at the Pain Rehabilitation Center (PRC) at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. The goal was to wean her off the multitude of medications she was forced to consume. The meds aimed to reduce her pain, at least enough to get out of bed and engage in the basic daily routines that once came so naturally. Pain management specialists were charged with using a behavioral therapy approach to deal with the pain differently and to improve the quality of life for Brenda, as well as for anyone seeking to improve their chronic pain condition.

Of course “dealing” with it doesn’t mean it is gone. Nope. Brenda’s kite is stuck in that tree where it will remain for an undetermined amount of time. It’s there taunting her, far beyond her reach. The life Brenda once knew has vanished. The plans she had envisioned with her family — dreams of having more children — gone. Just like that. Poof.

Brenda is alive today, right now, this moment. Maybe she’s strong enough to take a leisurely walk in the park; perhaps she can resume her jogging habit; and possibly — eventually — ride a bicycle again. Not the tandem bike on which David needs to do most of the pedaling, but using her own bike and her own muscle power. Heck, Brenda should get a ‘high five’ just for getting out of bed, according to Kid President.

Brenda’s life is different now than it had been and different than the one she imagined, but that’s just it. It is different. It doesn’t have to be “worse” or “bad.” If history is any indication, Brenda will again be motivated to achieve great things. She just hasn’t figured that out yet. Besides, life isn’t about what we do, it’s about who we are.

The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it. — Molière

Over the past month, gradually, the overall pain has subsided; though, the increased level of pain specific to the nerves in her legs has forced Brenda to take more medication for the ache that reached a level previously not felt.

The good news is, Brenda is off all opiates, stimulants, and benzodiazepines. That’s not to say she didn’t think about using some whenever the pain returns. It’s a constant struggle.

So, how does she do it?

Brenda does a variety of PRC-endorsed basic rituals in order to cope with the pain. The routine includes many habits from which each and every one of us could benefit.

• Get up in the morning and shower. This simple activity is not so easy for some of us in the cold upper Midwest winters!
• Help watch Hannah. A pleasure, for sure, but this little bundle of joy requires a lot of attention and energy.
• Find a distraction. Brenda has many interests, so finding a distraction is not a problem. She helps friends paint interior walls of their home; takes Hannah to her swimming lessons when possible; visits family — unfortunately, that grueling four-hour road trip to visit her sister and dad in North Dakota wreaked havoc on Brenda, both physically and mentally, spiking her level of pain at least 200 percent. Another distraction includes house cleaning, albeit in small, tolerable increments. A never-ending endeavor.
• Exercise, in any amount possible. Brenda has begun walking in the mall with a friend — a fellow PRC program graduate — up to three times a week. On alternate days, she’ll relieve some stress on the treadmill at home. Brenda is lifting light weights at least four days a week — a considerable contrast from the heavier weight-lifting days of her past.
• Stretch. Limbering the muscles every morning is good practice and, as a bonus, Brenda occasionally enjoys the company of a tiny little workout buddy, Hannah.
• Meditate. More and more experts are receiving mainstream attention for their expertise on the many benefits of meditation.
• Relax. Brenda tries to make use of audio tapes that walk her through muscle relaxation and guided imagery.
• Breath. Yup. Another seemingly mundane activity is quite significant for relaxing, healing, and bringing self-awareness. Using the emWave devise, Brenda focuses on breathing slowly and deeply through the diaphragm, potentially reducing the negative effects of stress, improving relaxation, and building resilience.
• Luminosity. The web-based program claims to help increase cognitive abilities; something all of us can use with the goal of improving recall and focus. By her own admission, Brenda hasn’t challenged her brain much over the last three years, ever since she stopped working and was forced to spend every ounce of energy fighting this attack on her body. The chemotherapy, constant doctor visits, radiation, surgery, stem cell transplant, and all that other cancer-related chaos has taken priority over pretty much everything else. The hope is that the daily use of this program could improve cognitive thinking and reverse the effects of chemo brain.
• Moderation. For an ambitious go-getter, the PRC-supported recommendation to use moderation is not something Brenda could easily accept. We often think of people eating or exercising in moderation, but this is about doing everything in moderation — spreading out the day’s activities to lessen the amount of stress condensed into small increments of time. For example, do the prep work for supper earlier in the day; clean little by little, taking small breaks; don’t cancel a lunch appointment if you don’t feel up to it, make the effort and keep it short, if you must.

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of those depths. — Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Brenda enjoys a simple, yet significant, moment with Hannah planting seeds

Essentially, Brenda is having to change the way she does nearly everything; watching Hannah can only be done in small chucks of time. This is another contributing factor for David’s inability to return to work full time. He balances a few days of work with designating time to look after his family and other priorities in need of attention.

Sure, we all have our issues — a noisy neighbor, micromanaging boss, barking dog, student loan debt, unemployment, a cheating spouse, weight gain, weight loss, teenage daughters, bills, food sensitivities, household chores, or estranged family members — but when just getting up in the morning is on the to-do list; when taking a shower is a required part of a pain management program; when a mom’s time with her baby is limited because of the debilitating effects of cancer, it tends to put our problems in perspective.

“Let us be kind to one another, for most of us are fighting a hard battle.” — Ian MacLaren

Throw everything at the wall and hope something sticks

When dealing with the exceptionally rare adult onset neuroblastoma, pain management involves a lot of trial and error. Brenda will try anything with the goal of winning this battle. That includes seeking treatment from a huge variety of experts, traditional and alternative.

• Oncologists, of course
• Massage therapist for rehabilitation
• Reiki healing specialist
• Psychologist
• Psychiatrist
• OBGYN doctors regulate hormones, closely monitor blood clot in Brenda’s heart.
• Audiologist to address hearing loss.
• Eye doctors monitor eye health following massive amounts of chemotherapy.
• Primary doctor watches withdrawal symptoms and ensures against danger.
• MRI expert
• Pain doctor
• Vocational specialist.

Brenda practices her mindful breathing, reducing stress

Brenda’s biggest issue she’s struggling with, right now, is the ability — or inability — to sleep. Experts recommend a solid eight hours of sleep each night for all of us in our efforts to maintain good health and mental clarity. This is especially true for someone whose body is fighting an illness and needs more sleep and energy to take on that disease. On good days, Brenda might get seven hours of sleep, but the bad days aren’t so good. The pain taking refuge throughout her body sometimes limits Brenda to just one or two measly hours of rest.

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

There are many things over which we have no control. All we can hope for is to do our best. Regarding something as common as breathing, Kid President says, “You’re gonna do it a lot, but nobody knows exactly how much. So enjoy it.”

We should all breathe more intentionally, focus on the good in our lives, count our blessings, spread compassion, and make every day count.

(By the way, here’s that video from Kid President referenced earlier in this blog. It’s not about cancer or illness, but it is about living life with compassion and respect. Watch it.)

Anyone for Thirty-One?

Tote bags from Thirty One Gifts

Using the Tupperware Party model, Thirty-One Gifts demonstrates and sells “fun and functional” items during in-home parties. Items are also available on the Internet. One such party is being held with a goal of helping to raise funds for Brenda.

One of America’s fastest-growing direct sales companies is more than just a business. According to Thirty-One’s own literature, “We are people who believe in celebrating, encouraging, and rewarding women for who they are.”

A dear friend of Brenda’s sister is a consultant for the ten-year-old Thirty-One Gifts. Diana decided that she would observe this Lenten season, which started with Ash Wednesday, March 5, by bringing awareness to neuroblastoma — the rare and devastating cancer Brenda continues to battle every day.

In an email Diana writes, “Christ calls us to humble ourselves and be His servants. As part of my Lenten journey I have decided to raise awareness for neuroblastoma.” She first met Brenda last summer and “was taken with her radiant, sparkly, and upbeat personality.”

Totes are fun for the kids

Diana is currently having an online party, whose proceeds will benefit Brenda’s family. She will also be using her hostess credit to purchase items that shall be sold at a later date to generate more funds for the same purpose.

This is not to be confused with our forthcoming Facebook auctions we mentioned earlier. This online “party” is supplemental to our fundraising efforts.

Speaking of which, if you’ve got any experience and feel up to a good challenge, you are more than welcome to do something in your own community to help out. We hear pancake breakfasts and spaghetti suppers are quite fun. 🙂

This online event hosted by Diana will close very soon — March 17, 2014. That’s just over a week to shop for purses, totes, and other home organization solutions, most of which can be personalized to make your own statement.

Click the this link, and then click on “my parties” in the upper left corner. You’ll see Brenda’s name in the middle of the screen. Click on “shop now” on the far right middle.

Facebook auction

Stay tuned for our first ever Facebook auctions coming real soon!

We have managed to acquire several desirable items to be sold online, and you just might be interested in snagging them for yourself.

In the couple of months leading up to the garage sale slated for May — whose proceeds will help put a dent in David and Brenda’s medical bills and associated expenses — we will try to earn some extra cash to help tide them over, while also offering you something special in return. Very soon you’ll see a few snazzy things up for grabs on our Facebook page. So, make sure you’re ready! Be sure to “like” the page and tell your friends.

Money generated from the sale of these donations will supplement the much-appreciated monetary gifts already received from very kind friends, family, and strangers. Though, are any of us really strangers? The fact is, we’re all in this game together, right? That is to say, this exciting game of life. This blog and word-of-mouth have resulted in many generous people sharing money via PayPal, direct check, and regular cash.Thank you very much.

As Brenda battles this horrific cancer, it is reassuring to know such wonderful people do care and are contributing in their own personal way. Each thoughtful gift, small and large, helps to lift the burden and reduce the stress — that includes financial consideration, babysitting, garage sale items, free haircuts, emails, cards, online auction donations, airplane ride with a pilot pal, work-out buddies, dinner companions, phone conversations, words of wisdom, care packages, friends to lean on, and shoulders to cry on.

Preparing for our first online sale

So, do you like handmade quilts and wall hangings? Stay tuned to see the wonderful pieces of art we’ll have up for auction. You might see something appealing to you.

What about sports? How about something in the area of college football? Maybe, for example, tickets to see the Minnesota Gophers? Yes, we’ve got that!

How about personal accessories? We just might be able to scare up a thing or two that tickles your fancy, or perhaps as a present for a friend.

Are you new to this idea of participating in a Facebook auction? No worries. We are, too! We will all experience this online sale together. After all, if you’re reading this page, it’s safe to assume you probably share our common goal.

So, watch for our online auctions coming very soon. Also, if you have an item that you would like to see sold on Facebook to the highest bidder for this purpose, let us know. We’d be happy to put it to good use.

Don’t forget to “like” our Facebook page so you’ll immediately know when the items are available for purchase, before it’s too late. And tell your friends.

Happy bidding!

Save the date!

digging up desirable donations

The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up. — Mark Twain

Many of us, at one time or another in our lives, have been — or will be — thrown a curve ball. For better or worse, it is part of life.

This is the time we rely on friends, family, and neighbors to come to our aid — for financial assistance, nuggets of wisdom, positive energy, words of encouragement, and shoulders to cry on. Such is the case for David and Brenda as they confront the effects of this brutal cancer. In addition to the chronic pain and the obvious health challenges from this evil monster called neuroblastoma, there are many rapidly-growing expenses in need of attention.

We (family) decided a few months ago that a garage sale would be part of our game plan. It’s one way we hope to make money to help put a dent in the accumulating bills and future expenses. Neither Brenda nor David had asked us for financial assistance. No doubt it would be difficult for many of us to make such a request. We just had to do something to ease their burden. Now they are both fully on board, humbled, and more than grateful for the outpouring of generosity. This grassroots effort is very inclusive. It’s a way everyone, regardless of personal wealth — or lack thereof — can get involved.

“There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.” — John Holmes

Variety of new embroidery threads

The garage sale will be held this spring — May 8, 9, and 10. We are already acquiring items to be included for purchase by deal seekers. The garage sale is cleverly scheduled to piggyback a citywide event, thereby taking advantage of lots of built-in traffic from folks whose sole purpose this particular weekend is to go garage sailing around town.

Certainly nobody is going to get rich from this small affair, but it’s something we can do to help out in our own way. As a previous blog post notes, money generated from the sale of unneeded household items can put at least a slight dent in the growing bills; maybe fuel up the gas tank for the umpteenth drive to and from Mayo Clinic in Rochester; or help pay for another night in a hotel room miles from home while seeking more treatment for the pain.

We are not suggesting everyone attend this fundraising event — city organizers will take care of that — but we would love to have some extra stuff to sell. Will you be doing some spring cleaning? Hoping to downsize? Creating more free space? We’ll take your books, clothing, toys, knickknacks, tools, dishes, sports equipment, board games, furniture, home appliances, play house, or whatever you wish to contribute — as long as it’s sellable. Please, don’t gift us with your old TVs, broken electronics, expired canned goods, obsolete pet rocks, or ugly reindeer sweaters!

One of many donated items for the sale

David’s sister in Woodbury, Minnesota is doing the heavy lifting, so-to-speak. We thought about having the garage sale at David and Brenda’s place because we know their friends and neighbors would love to be a part of it. However, we immediately scratched that idea when thinking about how much stress the preparation process and the three-day event itself would put on both of them, especially Brenda. We want to limit, not increase, that stress.

Plus, again, you don’t have to attend the garage sale in order to be a part of it. If you’ve got anything that you’d like to contribute to the sale and you don’t want to wait until May to be rid of it, we’d be happy to take it off your hands right away.

Feel free to use Facebook or the “Contact Us” page on the blog to ask questions, or go ahead and ask David directly. (He will probably just refer you to us!)

While the garage sale is a nice gesture, we realize it’s no cash cow. Plus, it’s a long time to wait to generate funds. The sale is part of a bigger yet-to-be crafted plan to raise money. Fortunately, several kind-hearted people who know how cancer can wreak havoc on the body, family, and pocketbook have already given a monetary contribution — some wrote a check, a few friends gave in-person gifts, and others donated online using the secure PayPal money transfer site (a button is conveniently located on the front page of this blog).

Thank you all very much.

“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of it for any one else.” — Charles Dickens

As David and Brenda fight this long, grueling, and expensive battle, please share this blog with as many people as possible. Be sure to make every precious day count.

Learn more about Brenda’s story on the about us page. Also, please share this blog and be sure to “like” us on Facebook. Thanks for your support. Donate securely via PayPal.

They say it’s your birthday. It’s my birthday, two, yeah.

Mommy and baby hug as Brenda returns home from Mayo on Friday, February 7, 2014

For the grammar police, myself among them, using the word ‘two’ opposed to ‘too’ is intentional. You see, today is Brenda’s second birthday; in fact, it’s the second anniversary of her second birthday.

Two years ago today Brenda had a potentially life-saving stem cell transplant to treat her cancer. That poignant day is considered to be a rebirth — a second chance at life. Though, nobody said it would be easy. And it wasn’t. Still isn’t.

The process was grueling and seemingly never-ending.

Experts first detected an unusual spot while performing a routine ultrasound scan on Brenda while she was carrying her first and only child in August of 2010 – two months after David’s younger brother was unexpectedly ripped from our lives.

After a year of poking and prodding — and waiting out the pregnancy — Brenda was eventually diagnosed with neuroblastoma, a type of cancer that almost always bullies infants and young children. It’s almost never seen in adults. In fact, there are just 40 known cases of this specific type of cancer diagnosed in adults in the entire world. Brenda is among them.

Clinical data on survival outcomes of adult patients with neuroblastoma are scarce due to the rarity of the disease. Small single institution reports have described worse outcomes for adults than pediatric patients. (SOURCE: NCBI)

A Hickman port is used to administer chemotherapy.

Stem cell transplant is a rigorous and prolonged treatment. In Brenda’s case, stem cells from her own body were used for the procedure. In an autologous stem cell transplantation, cells were harvested, purified and concentrated, frozen and stored, and later those cells were thawed and re-infused into the body; but not until after she received intensive therapy that included high dose chemotherapy to intentionally kill as many cancer cells as possible within her already fragile body. This preparative regime — or conditioning treatment — is more painful than the disease itself.

The preparation for the harvesting process began September 20, 2011. The eventual re-infusion of healthy cells occurred nearly five months later on February 9, 2012.

The stem cell transplant was performed two years ago today — Brenda’s new birthday.

Here’s an excerpt from Brenda’s Caring Bridge blog entry written that very day:

Written Feb 9, 2012 9:59am
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! Wow what a day, a seriously emotionally and physically draining day.

A couple days later, another entry:

Written Feb 14, 2012 1:23pm
“Thank you all for the cards letters support and prayers. It means so very much!!”

A few weeks later, after having spent the month in Rochester, Brenda was more than ready to be home among family and familiar surroundings.

Brenda’s own stem cells — 10 million purified and healthy cells — are injected back into her body to restart the immune system after the cancer had been zapped from her body

Written Mar 1, 2012 5:25pm
Great news……I am blowing this Popsicle stand tomorrow! After a hopefully quick blood draw, mom and I (really mom) will pack up the remaining last few items in the car and we are headed back to Minneapolis. Boy, I can’t begin to tell you how good that feels to type. Not sure how long I will get to be there before our next phase but no matter it will feel good to sleep in my own bed.

Thank you mom for putting up with me over this last month of hell. We made it thru one more step. 🙂

Minneapolis here we come!

The journey was far from over. A couple weeks later, Brenda began radiation.

Written Mar 17, 2012 11:09am
So this was my first week of radiation. Started on the Tuesday the 13th and will have 20 days/times of radiation. We make the trek every day to Rochester for the procedure. At this point I would rather make the drive and be home every night and see David and Hannah then stay in Rochester. Plus the procedure only takes about 20 minutes in total. So with driving it takes about four hours. Not too bad. Books on tape help a lot.

My best friend from Denver is flying out this week to help with the driving. She arrives on Wednesday and I am so excited to see her. She will probably give some much needed relief to David and mom. I know I can be a pretty grueling patient at times. 🙂 .

Enjoy this beautiful weather and remember hug those loved ones!! Life is too short and we dont always spend it on the important things.

A visit from Hannah was just what the doctor ordered for this patient

It’s been — and continues to be — a long journey, full of challenges as well as rewards. During the harvest period, Brenda had to be very careful about germs, because she was at high risk of getting an infection. Regardless, no amount of isolation, hand-washing, or breathing masks were able to prevent a fever and extreme pain from sending Brenda, once again, to the emergency room.

After the immediate danger had passed and Brenda’s cells were successfully harvested on that September day, David wrote the following, in part, on the Caring Bridge site:

Written Sep 20, 2011 9:02pm
I really believe all the prayers are helping.  Thank you all for your prayers, thank the Doctors and Nurses, thank Brenda for her strength, and Thank GOD, for it is his will.

Many years from now, when Brenda’s grandchildren learn about this ordeal, it will be told as a story of triumph; and Brenda will be the person to recall the adventure. Today, two years after the stem cell treatment, we celebrate the second anniversary of Brenda’s second birth. It’s a big deal.

“The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.” — Thomas Paine

Happy Birthday, Brenda, and many more!

Thanks a thousand times

David’s brother Will bought this tandem bike shortly after Brenda’s intense cancer treatment so she could enjoy the thrill of bike riding without having to do any work — other than hanging on while David adventurously maneuvers his way around the streets and trails of his neighborhood.

“I can no other answer make, but thanks and thanks, and ever thanks” — William Shakespeare

As cancer wreaks havoc on Brenda and her family, she and her husband have been fortunate to have support from loved ones along the way. Among other things, Brenda has enjoyed the frequent companionship of a longtime friend during the mundane drive to Mayo Clinic; she and David found comfort in leaving Hannah with family when necessary; they made use of free haircuts from a talented friend; were gifted with a tandem bike from a brother, so — despite her atrophied muscles and achy body — Brenda is sometimes able to feel the breeze on her face and breathe the many scents of the outdoors without using even an ounce of her limited energy trying to pedal while David takes the lead and does all the heavy lifting; they watched two grown men argue over who would get the privilege of buying the larger-than-life outdoor play set for Hannah; savored a few hearty meals with wonderful pals; were gifted a much-needed and very much-appreciated short getaway in Aruba; received many cards and care packages while stuck at the hospital; and accepted several monetary gifts of varying amounts.

This photo was taken during one of the many trips to Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN. Unfortunately, the weather doesn’t always cooperate with our driving plans.

A simple thank you surely will not suffice in expressing appreciation for the outpouring of generosity and kindness in the midst of this crazy, unpredictable roller coaster ride they’ve been forced to endure.

Brenda, just yesterday, finished her final week of her month-long program at the Pain Rehabilitation Center at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. She had been searching all year to find a remedy to the chronic pain that has taken up residence in her body. Whether this latest round of treatment proves to be successful is yet to be determined. Brenda is currently practicing meditation, mindful breathing, and other methods of distraction to eliminate — or at least reduce — the constant pain.

The ambush

After delivering Hannah in May of 2011 — with nary a minute to enjoy the new arrival — Brenda learned about her own diagnosis, the urgency in addressing it, and the need to devour at lightning speed massive amounts of information about this horrific disease called neuroblastoma. Something had to be done, and there was no time to wait. Barely time to think. Brenda immediately sought intense chemotherapy, surgery, radiation, and immunotherapy — and that was just the beginning!

Three years is a long time to be fighting the same stressful, anxiety-ridden battle. Cancer, obviously, is grueling on one’s body, the family, and certainly the bank account. Savings which had accrued over the years from responsible financial planning had quickly been replaced with receipts, medical bills, and burdensome credit card statements.

Brenda is fortunate to have her mom help with Hannah, support the family in good and bad times, and simply provide companionship on an otherwise pretty crappy day.

While the aforementioned gifts and emotional support are godsends, David and Brenda did not initially seek help beyond a small circle of individuals. Those who know David realize he puts on a happy face for his own sense of pride, but also for his wife and baby. He doesn’t want to bring everyone else down with his various problems when he so enjoys lifting everyone up. “I’ll lift you and you lift me, and we’ll both ascend together.” — John Greenleaf Whittier

Taking a toll

A few of us decided we’d take the bull by the horns and have a fundraiser to help cover some of David and Brenda’s rapidly accumulating debt. No monetary value can be assigned to the hours of attentive babysitting, the toys given to Hannah, the emotional support, and all the other thoughtful contributions along the way. This young family is forever grateful after experiencing such kind and selfless gifts from old and newfound friends; however, the never-ending and continuously-growing bills still find their way to the mailbox at the end of the driveway.

We hope to generate some cash from an upcoming garage sale that we (siblings) are putting together, set to take place May 8th, 9th, & 10th in Woodbury, MN (new blog post coming soon). Proceeds will be used to cover some of the expenses incurred while duking it out with this unrelenting monster. However, May is three months from now; bill collectors would prefer to have their debts settled sooner rather than later. Imagine that.

So, while David loves the idea of the garage sale, he is swallowing his pride and asking his immediate and extended friends to help his family during this unthinkable time through which he and his wife are struggling, one day at a time. David himself admits to being “bold and humbled.” Considering the number of caring and generous people coming forward to help a man in need, both David and Brenda are also “grateful and inspired.”

Generally, when encountering friends or family who are working through health issues, dealing with grief, or suffering hardship of some sort, many well-intentioned people offer assistance, but really don’t know specifically what to do. Hence, the many flavors of casserole piled in freezers and refrigerators throughout the Midwest. While tasty, this piping hot comfort food does not pay the mortgage, heat the house, or fuel up the car.

Several people have recently donated some money via PayPal by using the designated button on the home page of this very blog site. Some folks have written checks and sent them directly to D and B’s home address. Thank you! We are truly grateful for every financial contribution and your thoughtfulness. Some others have already donated household items for the anticipated garage sale. Another guy even suggested purchasing prepaid gas cards to fill up the tank as Brenda makes her drive to and from Rochester.

A simple thank you is not enough, especially as we ask for your continued support. “Blessed are those that can give without remembering and receive without forgetting.” — Author Unknown

We’d be thrilled if you’d share this link with your friends through the use of Facebook, email, or any other method you see fit. David and Brenda have received an uptick in donations over the past couple of days, most certainly as a result of your kind posts and considerate shared links. Thank you so much for conveying this information and for being wonderful friends and terrific human beings.

Be sure to make every precious day count.

Learn more about Brenda’s story on the about us page. Also, please share this blog and be sure to “like” us on Facebook. Thanks for your support. Donate securely via PayPal.

World Cancer Day

They all matter

What’s to know. Cancer sucks. Period.

Seriously, why call attention to such a horrible disease? Why recognize something so destructive to individuals and families? Why give cancer its own special day? There are already several other days to call attention to specific types of cancer, including an entire month for breast cancer (October) and prostate cancer (September).

Here’s why.

World Cancer Day is marked on February 4 to raise awareness of all types of cancer and to encourage its prevention, detection, and treatment. The day is intended to improve general knowledge surrounding cancer and to dispel misconceptions about the disease.

Also, it couldn’t hurt to say a prayer for those fighting cancer as we speak, as well as their families and those who have already lost their battle.

You can learn more online. Here are some good places to start.
Wold Cancer Day
World Cancer Research Fund International

It’s always something

Pink eye, mild fever, and croup cough. And that’s just Hannah!

As if cancer wasn’t enough, this weekend the dreaded conjunctivitis arrived for an uninvited visit. That’s right. Pink eye.

Both mama and baby are dealing with this ailment — Brenda is diagnosed with double pink eye and a horrible sinus infection; Hannah came down with pink eye, a mild fever, and croup cough (an infection of the upper airway, generally in children, which obstructs breathing and causes a characteristic barking cough, according to Mayo Clinic). Sheesh!

An educated guess — and a heck of a lot of experience — leads us to believe that these latest illnesses are the result, in part, of Brenda’s already severely compromised immune system because of the grueling cancer treatments, along with the many trips back and forth to Mayo Clinic and her extended time away from home. Plus, someone at the clinic likely passed a germ off to her.

It started out with a seemingly innocent cough last week that progressively got worse and grew to the sinus-related aggravating phlegm experience that needs no explanation. Generally sinus infections go away on their own — or perhaps with a little help from antibiotics — but cancer patients can’t afford to take any chances.

Early morning wakeup call

In addition to the daily pain with which Brenda has become very familiar, a 3:00 am wakeup call came Sunday from a new kind of hurt. After assessing the situation and weighing the pros and cons, David and Brenda opted against going to the Emergency Room and instead counted the long, worrisome minutes until the less expensive Urgent Care office would open its doors at 8:00 in the morning.

Later, after getting the diagnoses — yes, that’s plural — and the green light to return home, David’s best efforts to serve up a hot breakfast for Brenda would have to wait for another day. The sinusitis-induced toothaches simply would not allow her to enjoy the warm gesture on this frigid Sunday morning.

Brenda has been spending the last few weeks in Rochester, Minnesota seeking pain treatment, but was home for the weekend with her family; she certainly did not envision spending her time hanging out with more doctors and nurses! It’s always something.

Meanwhile, as Brenda rushed to Urgent Care first thing in the morning, 2 1/2-year-old Hannah went about her day as usual. Whatever that means. Usual. Normal. Anyway, following her afternoon nap — you know where this is going — Hannah woke up saying, “Daddy, my eyes itch.” She added, “My throat hurts.”

Considering their close relationship, it really shouldn’t come as a surprise that Hannah got pink eye from her mom. It’s anyone’s guess as to how she acquired the croup cough. The real mystery is how David managed to avoid being infected, especially when there were two contagious people walking around the house. Must have been scared by the threat of jiu jitsu.

At Urgent Care — yes, the second such visit in the same day — Hannah was prescribed eye drops that she’ll be given all week, but overall she’ll be just fine. Good thing, because her mother has returned to Mayo for the week to complete her treatment program. (Help Brenda through her final week at Mayo Clinic; send cards to the address at the bottom of the blog post.)

So, what does Brenda think of this latest incident? She says, “It’s God’s way to distract me from all the other pain I am in!”

Indeed.

Learn more about Brenda’s story on the about us page. Also, please share this blog and be sure to “like” us on Facebook. Thanks for your support.